The Chonicles of a Mad Sin'dorei
by Bandit X
Summary: My war against writer's block, written for my guild. A blood elf rogue named Sabrieth decides to coerce her guild into starting an all-out war with the murlocs. Stupidity and bad parodies ensue. R
1. The murlocs must Die!

Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Blizzard. The song contained in Chapter One is a parody of the Mindless Self Indulgence song "Two Hookers", which I also have no affiliation with.

Guild: Two Hookers and a Moocow; Staghelm

Main Character: Sabrieth; Level 61 Blood Elf Combat Rogue

---

Sabrieth stared bad temperedly at the thick cloud of smoke surrounding her. Taking another hit from one of the many hookahs strategically placed around the tiny Shattrath inn, she struck up a one sided conversation with the large cockroach perched on her knee.

"You know, Jerome, I don't think I've been quite this displeased with existence since Archmage Arugal demolished us in Shadowfang. Or any incident involving murlocs. I can't stand the foul creatures… the noises, the habits… and don't get me started on their appearance." Jerome merely scuttled off in search of crumbs. Hardly noticing, Sabrieth narrowed her eyes and whispered maliciously.

"The rogue will not abide."

Striding purposefully out of the inn, with Jerome bouncing along behind her, Sabrieth sent out a guild-wide message using her communication stone: The murlocs must die!

Soaring high over Shattrath on her faithful wyvern Muldoon, Sabrieth sang a bastardization of the Guild Anthem at full volume, narrowly avoiding being hit with a variety of vegetable matter thrown at her by angry citizens.

"Two Hookers and a Moocow

can you believe that I would join this shit?

Two hookers and a moocow

Stupid fuckers thinkin' Naz is pro…

I definitely give myself props

and that way I always loot what I want

I'm struggling to keep my edge

with two hookers

and a moocow, noob

for all the show goods

Cause I rock them noobs

and get freaky deaky

with a front row ticket

for all of my dungeon bitches

Two hookers and a moocow

can you believe that I would join this shit?

Two hookers and a moocow

it... ain't. that... fucking. hard…

I'm struggling with all the guild noobs

'cause inexperience is where they lose

mother fucker.

I'm struggling to keep my edge

with two hookers

and a good-for-nothin' pally

for all the fine ladies

rolling out with my homie Sneaky

shankin' all the clothies

with a high case of rabies

and a high strung beat

Two hookers and a moocow

can you believe that I would join this shit?

Two hookers and a moocow

Stupid fuckers thinkin' Naz is pro…"

"Pay no mind to them igits, lass" said Muldoon, dodging a rotten potato thrown by a particularly annoyed night elf, "they just canna appreciate fine music." Sabrieth merely grinned as the pair soared onward towards the portal to Under City.


	2. Curse you, Jeremiah Payson!

A dark figure crept through the shadows, moving steadily towards a red haired blood elf disenchanting a sword beneath the bank in Under City. Her back was to her stalker; any moment the would-be attacker would be upon her. The dark figure grinned, imagining her frightened eyes as she tearfully sobbed…

"Wanna buy a cockroach?!"

The red haired blood elf spun around when a loud, raucous voice broke the silence, dropping the sword and alerting a miserable looking voidwalker. She quickly relaxed as she realized Sabrieth stood behind her, both swords drawn, apparently preparing to kill a vendor that had ruined her surprise attack.

"Dammit Jeremiah!"

Sabrieth was still fuming as she and Harlyn Quinn, the ginger sin'dorei she had planned on scaring the mana out of, headed towards the elevator on their way to meet up with the rest of the guild.

"One of these days I'll make Payson properly dead. That's the fourth time this month!"

Harlyn was too busy laughing her ass off to respond, so Sabrieth turned a pitiful glance toward Krakgore, Harlyn's voidwalker, "Am I the worste rogue ever Kraky old pal"?

Krakgore's booming response of "I don't like this place" was in no way reassuring.


End file.
